I finally met him

Well i have a texting friend. and we have been talking for a few months. and we finally met today. he was sweet ..we kissed and he wasn't very good at it(sorry) but it was awful..ill spare you all the details..but i felt horrible after cause you know in the last blog i wrote about how i finally told the guy i like that i liked him well even though he doesn't like me i still felt like i was betraying him even though we aren't together idk it was the strangest feeling ever!!! and now texting guy tells me he is in love with me and how he thinks I'm perfect and that I'm a 10 ..but I'm still stuck on the  other guy ..why cant i like the guy who says he "loves" me..instead of the player that I'm crazzyyy about!!! but i really sorta don't want to like the texting guy cause i don't like him at all!!! but he really likes me and when i was leaving he said that he wanted to me to stay with him forever..aah

i think he was a bit over dramatic cause we're both 16..and he wants to get with me after high school cause we live over an hour away from each other so that wouldn't really work out now..but jerky guy i tried to get over texted me again today it was a very bland conversation..but idk he makes me feel soo weird idk how to explain this feeling. I'm soo lost. he says he just wants fun now and we will see where this takes us..umm I'm thinking that will be no where...

l like you

6pm starts off with a hello
7 random talking
8 we have a normal pg rated conversation
9 still going good
10 texting gets slower
11 picture game(pg Rated)
12 it stops
12:50 around 1am picks up dirty talking but joking
2 its gets deep
2:21 i finally tell him again " i like you a lot"
2:23 he says" o so"
2:24 my life crumbling down
2:25 hes not ready for a relationship
2:25 i say" i know just wanted to tell you"
now as i crumble down to to tears
as the say always the friend never the girlfriend.
but i needed to know that. so that maybe i can move on
liked him for over a year now i still like him even though it makes me sad and hurts
but theres always a rainbow somewhere..right?
mine hasn't come yet but will
2:32 discovered that hes an asshole
but whats a girl to do?
and here i go again.
2:41 i start to tear up..but there not falling
he texts again insensitive asking for more dirty picture that i said no on
i realize hes not worth my tears
2:43 he says goodnight and calls me beautiful
I'm stuck and the tears fall

Good Morning/ Afternoon

well most of my Christmas break has been spent sleeping and just lounging in my pj's all day & watching TV..i think the 2 week break off dance was a bad idea. i feel incomplete with out 20hours of dance and school..well i don't really miss school, just the people in school. any whos, my days goes as: wake up its around 12am or 1pm wander around the empty house wondering what to do..i eventually settle for watching TV, after that i clean the house, then my sisters and parents finally come home make dinner, we have dinner, they sit and talk around the table for hours and while they chat i slip away and take a nap in my room, wake up the kitchens clean again and my family has scattered around the house, I'm up for a few hours and then i call it a day and go back to sleep.

my day is very predictable. well that's the life of me during vacation.

MERRYYYYYY

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!:) HOPE U HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!!:)

Tale as old as Time:)

I love watching Disney movies:)  they inspire me to fall in love:) haha Disney is probably the cause of me being a hopeless romantic. oh well it gives me the hope that there might be a love out there somewhere like that in the world. and maybe i might find a love like that. so my friends say I'm a tie between Jasmine from Aladdin and Belle from Beauty and the Beast..when i was little all i dreamed about and finding my prince charming and living happily ever after, then as i got older the dream never died it just got more realistic. get married hope the guy isn't a jerk and that we don't divorce. well i hope i find the guy of my dreams soon

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU

remember the boy I'm trying to get over..well its not working. i spend most of my time trying not to think about him. its so frustrating! it just makes me want to cry because i know i will never be able to be with him even though i want to be with him so bad! for a little while I'm fine and life's great and then i think about him and i want him to like me so bad and i get depressed because he wont ever like me. i remember the day i told him i liked him.. he said he liked me back. but i think it was one of those things where you say it back so that you don't hurt the other persons feelings. right now writing about him I'm trying to hold back the tears and yet he still makes me smile from past memories i have with him just goofing around. my friends tell me to get over him because of the stupid stuff he put me through..but even through that i still like him a lot. idk what to do anymore I'm done trying not to like him, but done trying to get him to like me. and my other friend likes him and she knows that I've like him forever and yet she still flirts with him in front of me and she wore his jacket last week and i wanted to but into tears there at school. i don't know what to do. he'll probably end up falling for her.
i just like him so much its sad to say I've liked him for 2 years now and yet liking him has made me happy yet sad..