Honey Honey♥

i kinda feel like im in a musical..haha well like things are at there ups and down..but like the song in Mamma Mia "honey honey how he thrill me, uh honey honey":) hummm summer so far is going pretty good..but been stuck at home cleaning and babysitting..i have a a couple days off dance..i just really want to travel and go out and see things and experience new things..haha idk i always have an urge for adventure when summer comes:)

Night to remember

hey, sorry i haven't blogged in a while life kinda got crazy. so to fill you in failing math..parents aren't happy about that but its the only class I'm failing..um danced a lot still..and Steve an I have been dating for 3 weeks now were going to have our 1 month anniversary this week:):):):) ha ha i know but anyways tonight was prom and:) it was really really fun:) and i had a really good time with Steve and idk it might be a teenage thing or a first love thing but i don't want to be with anyone else, its just really going to suck when he graduates. but tonight we had lots of fun and filled it with good memories..don't worry nothing bad! it was good CLEAN fun:)

3am chats

well me and steve are doing okay..still friends making out..but i want it to go into a relationship..but im stuck in this zone that idk what it is:/ but i have new news for you..i have a facebook friend that lives several hours away that ive been talking to for about a year and we have become really good friends but he likes me..and he wants to meet someday and become alot more then just friends..idk how i feel about that cause i like steve alot and yeah i know im young and still have ime..but why cant steve just ask me out already. uurrgghh i know sound like a teenage girl:)

Confused

So on Friday me and the girls went to a school dance and i was hoping that Steve would go and i kept looking for him, then i finally gave up and started dancing with friends and then when i looked over i saw him:) and it was great we first went off and started making out then we danced and making out and then while we were dancing he told me i was turning him on and yeah so we danced and made out at the dance..and then i finally asked him what we were and he never gives me a real answer it.. he says that he is mine..what does that mean??? cant he just say if were in a relationship or not????? and ya we held hands and stuff:) and everyone kept asking me if we were a couple and it sucked having to say no.. and yeah so after the dance we walked out and we were with his friends and my friends were doing there thing and yeah his friends were pretty funny cause there all seniors and they were being guys..lol and like yeah he kissed me in front of everyone at the dance and idk what we are:///// but then we kissed goodbye and the next day he didn't text me cause he doesn't have his phone..but yesterday he finally texted me off his friends phone and he was being all sweet saying oh i my day would of been better if you were here and he was all calling me babe and baby and he said he was going to be coming into town and i said he should stop by and he said that he would and so i waited, waited, and waited and he never came:( why didn't he come??? I'm SO confused and like he was saying last night that i shouldn't care to much cause he didn't want to hurt me emotionally..and then few texts later he said he was going to come over after..so what does that me??
my friend was with me and she got to see how sad i got and she told me that I'm too hot for a guy to do this to me, which i don't believe and yeah idk what to do..maybe cause I'm a sophomore and he is a senior its not gonna work out cause he wants older hotter girls...???  but i have to say this when we were hanging with his friends from looks there all really really cute/hot guys but when they showed their tummy's Ive never seen SO many six and packs..it was like  words cant describe..so what if its just one of those player things?????

Kiss Me

HE KISSED ME:):):):):)!!!!!!!! well yesterday we made plans to hang out and i didn't think it was gonna happen but it did and then we went to the movies and during the end we kissed and kissed and kissed:) i don't know how to describe how i feel right now:):):) haha i had a really good time with Steve:) oh my goodness:):):):) and don't worry i got away with my parents not going..but urgh:):):) i feel sooo happy and i just want to be kissing him more and more:):) well that was my night:)..lol:):):):):):):):):):)

why cant it be easy?

well Steve came over to my house last weekend and meet my parents...we haven't kissed and we haven't even gone one a date or dating..but he came over around 9:30pm stayed till past 10:30 and it went good but it sucks cause we were alone for a little and then my mom had to come outside...perfect timing huh..lol
well i guess it didn't go too bad cause he texted me after saying how hard it was to not kiss me..i told him that he should of but my mom had to come outside so he didn't..but this week i got mixed feelings from him..and well we talked for over 3 hours on the phone,,i think that's an all time record for me..lol..but it went good:) and yeahhh:) well we are supposed to go to the movies tomorrow and i asked my parents and they said i can go only if they can tag along..urgh that made me SO mad cause its just a movie and I'm not gonna be doing anything bad but they want to freaking tag along..whats up with that..i mean I'm 16 but I'm almost 17 ahhhhhhhhh!!!!! but since i want to go out with him to the movie really bad i guess i have to put up with it..but idk why they are doing this to me when they didn't do this to my other sisters..goodness..idk

the grad

So last night my friends and i went to the grad and it was fun i danced with this guy that spoke a language Ive never heard before and he was around 18 and yeah partied alot last night:) well i didn't do anything bad. but i also danced with one of my guy friends that happened to be there. but i was really disappointed because Steve said he was going to go so i kept looking for him and not dancing with too many guys so that you know he wouldn't think i didn't like him but Steve never came and that made me kinda sad..i got rejected and he hasn't texted me today and well idk whats up. but i decided if he wants to talk to me he will and well I'm not going to fall for him if he doesn't even see me that way. but last night was still pretty fun i must say:):)

oops he did it again

so life had been going great Steve walked with me to my class today which was in the complete opposite direction of his class and well he was late too class cause he walked me to my class, and when he gave me a goodbye hug i couldn't stop smiling and giggling..but  i did the giggling and smiling after i was in class so he wouldn't think i was a weirdo:) but then at lunch he told my friend that he liked me but cause of the age difference he doesn't know.. so basically its a no. my heart dropped when she told me. i held in all i could until 5th when i asked to leave to the bathroom. thank goodness no one was in there because i started crying. why is it that when i start to fall for a guy they don't like me or lose complete interest in me. and idk I'm fed up with it. i just want someone who will actually like me and care about me.

new guy

so i don't think its going to work out with this one new guy i met(we will call him Steve). i really like him and want it to work. but Steve is a senior and a baseball player. why would he wan to be with a sophomore when he can be having fun with all his senior friends doing what senior boys do. you know what i mean?
well my friend and i went to go see her cousin which happens to hang out with Steve and well we said she was paying her cousin back but really it was so i could talk to him but i got really nervous and stupid and was quiet and just said 'hi:)" aaahhhh Ive never felt SO stupid around a guy before..:/

ello

well now officially over that one dude. ive started talking to a senior and im a sophomore:):):):):) well we me very randomly and he asked my friend for my number and we have been texting and he hasnt asked for anything:):):):) and he seems like a really sweet guy:) and life is kinda going not in the place i want it yet. but i still dont know what i want. im only 16 i think i have about a year to figure out what i want. and haha well now i just need to live life and breath.

its a new day

soo ill fill you in on whats happened the past while i haven't blogged. Guy i liked and told i like but he wasn't "ready" for a relationship has a girlfriend now. id rather he tell me he didn't like me then say that he wasn't ready and get with a girl within the next 2 weeks he told me that crap. well other then that life is pretty good I'm finally over him and Ive been talking to a lot of people meet some cool people and been living life:) i don't always stare at him anymore:)!! and i don't even remember he is in my class anymore..lol. hummmmm. hung out with the guy friends more often:) well nothing really exciting has happened yet soo ill fill you in if anything does happen( probably not) but just in case ill fill you in well..bye:)

Screaming

So I really dislike high school. don't you love how when your friends always say that they're  going to be there for you when your in need of help because you always help them in there time of need. Well as most of you can tell they really could care less. Gosh I just want to cry and scream when ever I'm around them. I don't know why I feel this way it all started out with that stupid guy and how he likes someone else and it hurt I cried and  I'm finally getting over him but now its like everyone is out to hurt my feelings or something..(i know most of you must be saying suck it up, its just high school) but Ive never felt so lost and sensitive and like I want someone to be there so I can talk to and can understand me. Why is it that they come to me for all the answers and I cant even figure out my own life. I just need to get away from school, dance, friends, and family just for a weekend so I can figure it out because no one can tell me how to fix my life the way I want it to be fixed. I can tell that they are tired of me again, but I don't know what I do that makes them tired of me. We all have known each other since middle school and some since elementary school. I guess I will have to figure it out sooner or later before I break in front of them...

More tears on my pillow.

So i figured out that the guy I'm trying to get over but cant cause i still like a lot likes another girl..i danced it out and though that id be fine, well i wasn't i just cried until i fell asleep. i know my friends keep telling me to get over him but i cant. they say that " he is going to have to break my heart before i can move on." idk why i feel this way about him. i shouldn't like him soo much cause I'm in high school and I'm young and idk. i never have good luck with boys.  they want me for sex and other stuff.( i don't do that stuff ) but they never like me as a girlfriend. idk whats wrong with me. idk she is really pretty so i understand why he would like her and they're always together now and i just want to cry every time i see them. i know i probably sound like every other teenage girl that thinks there in love..but i know I'm not in love so idk why i feel this way..

Pointe Shoes

So today i got my pointe shoes:) Ive been dancing for 2 years and the first year i danced 2 hours a week now i dance over 20 hours a week. Ive been working alot so i can get my pointe shoes!:) and I'm sooo happy i got them today:):) so im going to start another blog about dance:) I'm sooo excited to write about dance and how much i love it..lol:) from getting my Trippe to my toes bleeding:) haha its been an eventful year getting here and i cant wait to share whats in store for me with you:)!!

tired

I feel like I'm screaming and he cant even hear me. you know the guy I'm trying to get over..yeah he sat next to me in class today. i tried not to look soo much and well i need to get over him right?..I've like him over a year..probably time to move on..but I'm just stuck. like i want to talk but i get the feeling that he doesn't really care so i just keep quiet to myself. ahh i just like him soo much and i don't know what to do..

Head Pain

Its 10:16 and I'm starting my homework. My sister moved out today. i cried when she left. I'm going to miss her! but i have 2 years till I'm moving out:) I'm sorta scared to move out. i feel like I'm going to be lost in the world. and what if no dance school accepts me..hum but i want to be married by the time i graduate. ha ha i know I'm crazy. but its always been a dream to get married young. but i don't think ill find a guy who has the same image of getting married as young as we are..lol

HAPPYYYY

HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE:)!!!!!!!!! HOPE  ALL OF YOU HAVE A WONDERFULL YEAR!!!:):)